CIRCUIT BREAKERTM​
Shopping Cart
Your Cart is Empty
Quantity:
Subtotal
Taxes
Shipping
Total
Arresting Anger - Preventing Violence - Strengthening Families
My Blog
My Blog
Blog
What IS "Responsibility-Creep?"
| Posted on August 5, 2011 at 2:06 AM |
 “Responsibility
Creep” refers to the gradual shifting of responsibility from one person or
group of people to another, without notification, and sometimes without the
consciousness of either party. When
my children were small, I could not count the number of times when they would
run off to play, hand me their shoes or jumper and run away shouting, “Can you
hold these?” Whilst most of the time I didn’t mind taking the clothes from
them, it took me a lot longer to realise that, in doing so, they also expected
me to take full responsibility for them from that point until the next time
they needed them.  If
the clothes were left at the park, it was very clear to my children that I was
the last one with them and that this was entirely my fault. Perhaps there was
an element of truth to this too. In any case, I eventually learned the great
skill of putting my hands behind my back at these times; a skill which still
serves me well as I walk past time-share salespeople, spruikers and even do-gooder
folks with clipboards who beg me to sign their latest petition…. (Sigh). If
only it was as easy everywhere. These
days, you could probably venture into a staff kitchen at just about any
workplace in Australia
and, more often than not, you will find a little angry sign saying “PLEASE WASH
YOUR OWN DISHES;” perhaps even sarcastically adding “your mother no longer
works here!” Whilst some of us might find it an interesting phenomenon that one
or two people tend to wash everyone else’s dishes, you can bet that not everyone
finds it amusing.  Of
course, in many workplaces responsibility creep is no laughing matter. Take the
case of a manager who has been in a large firm for a number of years. As the
company grows, so does the workload. New staff will inevitably look to him as
the most obvious person to ask about
problems. On the other hand, the company CEO will also look to this person’s
years of experience and increasingly view them as the most reliable person to delegate tasks to. The
result of this is that, unaddressed, the manager’s workload will sooner or
later become unsustainable. Whether the manager becomes jaded, begins looking
for other work or has a personal or family breakdown, none of these outcomes
are good for him or good for business. In this case, it is worth noticing that responsibility-creep
actually represents a disincentive for competence. This is to say, it’s like
the manager is being punished for being good at his job. Whilst
in the workplace the alternative of incompetence (or becoming poor at your job)
is not always an option, the same may not be true of families. Since it’s a
good deal more difficult to get fired
by your family, being lousy or incompetent at particular tasks can actually
prove to be a quick route to a life of ease. If a teenage son does a poor job
of mowing the lawn and ruins the mower in the process, he may quickly achieve
his end-goal of never being asked to do it again. Unfortunately, the same may
also be true of husbands and wives around issues of household chores, budgeting
or parenting. Perhaps
the most dangerous relationships are those in which one person becomes
responsible, not only for the needs
of the other, but also for the emotions
of the other. If someone has ever said to you, “you made me angry” or “you made
me feel guilty,” then the power to control their emotions is a lot of power to
be giving you. The truth is, of course, it is not power that they are giving
you, but responsibility.  Grown-ups usually prefer to be in control of their own emotions, and it is supposed to be only children who sulk or have tantrums if things don’t go their way. You cannot truly make another person feel anything, and it is only a person with a manipulative agenda who will try to convince you otherwise. Those
in abusive relationships sometimes take a long time to learn that trying to
take responsibility for another person’s moods and feelings is like chasing a
rainbow. However hard you may try to walk
on eggshells or to be a people-pleaser,
responsibility will only creep further and further into your own territory
until it eventually suffocates you. Roughly
four-thousand years ago, a very wise king penned some valuable advice for those
trapped in this, the sharp end of responsibility-creep: “An abusive man must suffer the consequences of
his actions. If you
rescue him, you will have to do so again.” (Proverbs 19:19) Whether
the responsibility-creep you are living with is related to domestic abuse, the
workplace or just a careless family member, the principle contained in this
proverb is profoundly helpful. It is not words alone, but cold hard
consequences which bring change to situations of blurred responsibility.
Nevertheless, words are an important starting point as far as identifying what
is going on and how you are feeling about it. If
you do find yourself stuck in any kind of situation of responsibility-creep, I
trust you might find the following steps helpful:
|
Categories: Codependency
Post a Comment
Oops!
The words you entered did not match the given text. Please try again.
426 Comments
Reply
bron
2:39 PM on August 27, 2011
To those who suffer in Domestic Violence circumstances... I have recently left this sort of relationship after being beaten for the 3 years we were together and I would just like to say that the above advice is right on the dollar... YOU need to take control of YOUR life, each day is hard but every step you take in the right direction will give you great joy.
Reply
creativebioscience.com
1:30 PM on January 23, 2013
Adult dyslexics can read with good comprehension, but they tend to read more slowly than non-dyslexics and perform more poorly at spelling and nonsense word reading, a measure of phonological awareness. Thanks.
Reply
www.weightlosspunch.com
5:26 AM on February 4, 2013
Take your pulse when you wake up in the morning. You will want to take your pulse while you are still lying in bed. Use two fingers on your wrist or neck and count the beats for 15 seconds, then multiply this number by four. Thanks.
Reply
proposal essay topic here
12:25 PM on March 19, 2013
Alternatively, you may also visit the links provided to know more about our custom essay writing services.
Reply
Replica Watches
7:46 AM on March 21, 2013
To begin with, forgiveness is always about 2 things: one rational and one emotional. Firstly, it's about releasing a debt (either real or imagined), and then (whether we like to admit it or not), it’s also about releasing hatred.
Reply
fake rolex watches
7:13 AM on April 16, 2013
bron says...
To those who suffer in Domestic Violence circumstances... I have recently left this sort of relationship after being beaten for the 3 years we were together and I would just like to say that the above advice is right on the dollar... YOU need to take control of YOUR life, each day is hard but every step you take in the right direction will give you great joy.
I cant believe what I see this excited news! I'm so happy to get that your great website is welcome. Hopes you also like:replica omega watches uk and replica breitling watches
!Thank u.
Reply
Tissot Classic Dream Watch
7:28 PM on April 16, 2013
Every single item of the Tissot Classic Dream Watch is a true masterpiece, because products by this brand are a sample of beauty and high quality.
Reply
JasonFritz
12:21 PM on April 18, 2013
This one manner is actually very popular and the other with my personal favorite songs. I this fact check. Whatever your main backdrop usually are for the purpose of convenience ultimate pieces. Visual appeal, exceptional, specifications, capability? The optimal creations possess a bigger preceding connected with concentrated enthusiasts and for good motive.For anybody a kind men and women who could be on the dot the item watch is a great one to give the.
Reply
replica watches
9:31 AM on April 19, 2013
Hip and Stylish: With a cutting edge style, and a look that promises elegance, these watches happen to have features like case shapes, face colour, not to mention band materials. Kenneth and Cole is the trusted brand in this category.
Reply
Custom Essay Writing Services
11:42 AM on May 1, 2013
Great job on the pleasant piece which surely everyone was happy with. All the details was fun but useful at the same time. Thanks for keeping us interested!
Reply
MCITP
3:48 AM on May 3, 2013
Great job on the pleasant piece which surely everyone was happy with. All the details was fun but useful at the same time. Thanks for keeping us interested!
Reply
writing case studies
6:39 AM on May 17, 2013
For instance, it is possible to state that at the present moment the situation in community is really disturbing and needs to be immediately improved because of profound problems in all areas an on all aspects. Few are good at thinking and current material seems to be of that kind. We would really support the idea of writing case studies in this respect.
Reply
Replica Watches
5:48 AM on May 18, 2013
But I'm trying my best to learn that. If I didn't do Replica Swiss Watches that, he's telling I'm not helping him as a wife. is he fair Replica Watches to do like that? I replica cartier watches don't want to devorce him.
Reply
red sole shoes
6:27 AM on May 21, 2013
The National Additive Manufacturing Innovation Institute or NAMII was built with the money.
Reply
Stock punches
6:30 AM on May 21, 2013
bron says...
To those who suffer in Domestic Violence circumstances... I have recently left this sort of relationship after being beaten for the 3 years we were together and I would just like to say that the above advice is right on the dollar... YOU need to take control of YOUR life, each day is hard but every step you take in the right direction will give you great joy.
I am grateful to study your publish and it's have awesome material on responsibility creep,it is really a wonderful concept.I appreciate your work; really it's very useful publish. Thanks for discussing.
Reply
bellabluestudio
1:40 PM on May 21, 2013
I not to mention my pals came going through the nice advice found on your web page while instantly I got a terrible feeling I had not expressed respect to the blog owner for them. All the guys had been totally very interested to read through them and have in actuality been having fun with these things. Many thanks for being well thoughtful as well as for considering such essential useful guides millions of individuals are really eager to understand about. My sincere apologies for not saying thanks to sooner.
Reply
christian louboutin
6:41 PM on May 22, 2013
What IS "Responsibility-Creep?" koswaeim http://suvcwaz.org/redbottomshoes/ koswae christian louboutin bfjnrvzd http://suvcwaz.org/redbottomshoes/ bfjnrvtxbfjn http://www.elzanne.fr/ lptxbf longchamp koswae http://www.elzanne.fr/ cgkosxtwycgk http://www.absynet.fr/ ptxbfj longchamp pliage hlptxb http://www.absynet.fr/ zejlptvzcgko http://youforweb.it/ mquycg camicie burberry mimquy http://youforweb.it/ eimquytvzdhl onthelevelinc.com/pumps.html xbfjn christian louboutin ptxbf http://onthelevelinc.com/pumps.html gkoswcgkos http://www.diving-tenerife.co.uk/ uzegk mulberry handbags mquyc http://www.diving-tenerife.co.uk/ lptxbfhkor http://mirtg rvzdh christian louboutin quycg http://mirtg.com/ eimquwaeim http://www.vaiarelli.it/ rvzdh burberry sito ufficiale jnrwa http://www.vaiarelli.it/ fbfjnxbfjn http://suvcwaz.org/celinebag/ koswa celine handbags kosos http://suvcwaz.org/celinebag/ ycgkoptxbc http://onthelevelinc.com/uk/mulberry/ lptxb mulberry purse dhijh http://onthelevelinc.com/uk/mulberry/ ljycggewyc http://www.kingdomofsmiles.com/ zceim louboutin sale puwae http://www.kingdomofsmiles.com/ jnrva
Reply
christian louboutin
8:27 PM on May 23, 2013
What IS "Responsibility-Creep?" dhkmqu http://onthelevelinc.com/uk/mulberry/ svzdhl mulberry uk outlet jnrvzd http://onthelevelinc.com/uk/mulberry/ bfjnrvzdaeiloquq onthelevelinc.com/pumps.html oswaeimq christian louboutin outlet mqmquyc http://onthelevelinc.com/pumps.html eimquycvzdhlpt http://suvcwaz.org/redbottomshoes/ rvzvzdh christian louboutin sale jnrvzdh http://suvcwaz.org/redbottomshoes/ waeimquwaeiein http://www.diving-tenerife oswaeim mulberry outlet gkotvzd http://www.diving-tenerife.co.uk/ bfjnrvrtxbfjnr http://mirtg lptxbcd christian louboutin outlet gkoswae http://mirtg.com/ ycgkoswmquycgk http://suvcwaz.org/celinebag/ lptxbfj celine luggage tote dhijhzb http://suvcwaz.org/celinebag/ vzdhlptiacgjmo http://www.elzanne.fr/ imquycg longchamp zcejoqu http://www.elzanne.fr/ wbgimqunrvzdhl http://www.kingdomofsmiles.com/ bfjnrva christian louboutin for men deimprw http://www.kingdomofsmiles.com/ oswaeimokoswae http://www.absynet.fr/ cgkoswa sacs longchamps quybfjn http://www.absynet.fr/ ptxtxbfjnrvzd http://youforweb.it/ ydfjnr burberry borse wzceim http://youforweb.it/ koswaeegjnqs http://www.vaiarelli.it/ xbfjnr burberry outlet lptxbf http://www.vaiarelli.it/ hlhlpt
Reply
http://hottanklesswaterheater.com/
11:59 AM on June 15, 2013
proposal essay topic here says...
Alternatively, you may also visit the links provided to know more about our custom essay writing services.
Quotes of average standard tap water source uses are probably Clothes Washer 4 . 3.3 GPM, Baby shower and Bathtub several.5 GPM, Kitchen and Bathroom Sink - 8.2 GPM, Dishwasher - 1.3 GPM. If you all of them at the same time, you will need a tank in which may supply 9.3 gallons of hot rain per minute minimum, plus more assuming you have more showers not to mention sinks in depend on by several siblings. An experienced plumber can help you determine the wide variety more accurately. The square foot of your dwelling and plumbing offices may require a couple HotTanklessWaterHeater in detached locations.
Oops!
Oops, you forgot something.